Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Progress Report #3




I've faced down mummies.  I've been singed by lightning.  I've been burned by fire.  I've chased angry ghosts.
But I have to admit, after all this time, the single scariest thing in the entire universe... is my own daughter
The way my little girl talks absolutely frightens me.  And I'm not someone who frightens easily, as my resume would certainly attest.
And it's not just what she says, it's what she doesn't say.  It's the stuff she does.  As I've said before, I have absolutely no idea what she is capable of.

But I'm starting to get an idea... and even that prospect frightens me.


For starters, there is no sign that her odd behavior is abating anytime soon, despite her recent admittance to me that she doesn't take the six medications she was prescribed at the hospital to help her focus and regulate her moods.
I'm beginning to realize that, this is just Sierra.  This is who she is.  

 
She's still plopping her bag down anywhere and anytime the mood strikes.  When I was her age I slept in cemeteries but she goes far beyond that. 



One thing I can say for her is that she seems to enjoy the learning aspect of college, especially since most of her classes aren't typical lecture courses where you sit in a desk and take notes.  She definitely seems to be more of a hands-on learner.
I wish I'd have known sooner.
Her therapist has said that the way she feels most comfortable expressing herself is physically.  In his words, it's what she 'defaults' to when things get tight.


Another thing she seems to love is technology, particularly robotics.


She keeps having this dream, she says, that she traveled to the future and built herself a 'plumbot' - an advanced robotic creature.


She does have a bot, named S13RR4, and when I say they do everything together, I do mean everything


Her bot is always ready to play her favorite game with her.  Throwing the football is still her absolute favorite thing to do, has been since she was tiny.




Obviously I'm very skeptical about my daughter spending every waking moment with a bot.  These days it is her closest (and probably only real) companion.



In fact, when she graduated from college (with a perfect 4.0 GPA I might add, and she made the Dean's List every semester) the only individual she even acknowledged in that huge crowd... was her bot. 



She moved out of our place into my Aunt Maggie's old house, just her and her bot.  Her bot pays her bills, answers her calls, and cooks for her...



...while she does her experiments, goes fishing, or works out.



It took Sierra all of two days to crack the Llamas' starting lineup and become the team's best player.


She gets on well with her teammates, who respect her skill, marvel at her talent, and are stunned at her eccentricities.  She's the only girl on the team.



I've accepted that she has her own way of doing things; that she marches to her own drum.  She was diagnosed with Asperger's and oppositional defiant disorder, and the more I read about it, the more that her behavior, strange as it is, makes sense.  Everything just seemed to fit - when she went off the rails in her teens, she started seeing the psychic, her inability to make and keep friends, her discomfort with socializing - it just all started to click. 

 
Even growing up the only time she would socialize with people was when she was beating them at some sport. 

No comments:

Post a Comment