Funeral Dinner

It's been three days since Dad died and it's been more of the same.  Nobody can stop crying or being very upset about it.  

I still cannot believe he is gone.  He's not supposed to be gone.  He's supposed to be here forever.  He's been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, and the fact that he is no longer here is just devastating. 

Poor Sage flew in with Kyle from Hidden Springs and can't stop crying. 

Poor Sawyer locked himself in the bathroom...

...and poor Skylar had to calm him down because he cries himself to sleep at night.

Sierra is the worst, though.  She's not eating, she's not sleeping, she's not talking.   All she does is stares into space.

She's completely shut down.  I worry about how big a setback this really is, especially since she made so much progress at school. 

 Andy, bless him, has tried to keep the humor around here by reminding us of the good times. 

 And he's even tried to engage Sierra by participating in her favorite activity.  It worked, for awhile.  But once they stopped throwing, she went back to being mute, back to staring out the window.  And she's still not eating. 

 It took every ounce of strength I had to summon the family over for the funeral dinner.

I can't bear to see my child in so much pain.  She hurts so much, and I can't fix her.   She internalizes everything.  I've already informed Dr. Anthony that she won't be returning to the University this upcoming semester.

 The weather outside matched the mood of everyone inside.  Heavy rain poured throughout the evening, with intermittent claps of thunder.  I took deep breaths as I prepared to make my speech.

 I was lost in thought when Satis interrupted me.  I hadn't seen her in a good while.  "Mom," she whispered in a soft voice.  "Mom - I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" I turned towards her.
"I'm sorry for not keeping in touch.  I've been so busy with med school.  I'm sorry about Grandpa."
"It's okay, baby," I said to her. 

 Right after that I was approached by another voice from my past.  "Auntie."  It was Neil.  I hadn't seen him since I last left Sunset Valley.  "Auntie, you practically raised me after my dad died.  It's going to be okay."

 I walked up to the podium that had been placed at the head of our banquet table and spent a few minutes collecting myself before speaking. 

 "Everyone," I said, "we're gathered together here to remember the life of our dear father and family patriarch, Nathan James Jolina-Plumb.  He was the founder of our current clan and played an integral part in its formation.  His presence in our lives has been steady.  When Nathan Plumb first broke into the music business, he was just a kid with a guitar, a smile, and a dream, and nobody knew who he was.  Now everybody knows his name --"

 I was just about to finish my flourish when I looked up and Madison was standing before me.  "Just - what - the hell - are you doing here?" I asked angrily as Madison directly faced me.
Madison took a step forward. "I - came to pay my respects."
"Well, you know you don't belong here."
"My daughter Kaydence is here -"
"No, she isn't," I corrected her, "she left a half hour ago with my brother. So, why are you here again?"
"Your father was an influential figure in my industry, not to mention, my father-in-law and my daughter's grandfather. Paying my respects is the least I could do."
"Madison," I said with everything I had left in me, "it is in your best interest that you leave these premises immediately, or I will have you escorted out of here. Your choice."