Sierra

 

Author’s note:  A combination of factors has contributed to me not updating this blog as much as I should.  Among them is laziness, lol. 

Hey everyone, it’s me, Savannah. 

I know I haven’t talked much about my younger daughter Sierra in this blog, but I believe I need to dedicate a post to her. 

I think I’m losing her. 

Seriously.

She just turned teen and she is completely out of control.

The problem is, Sierra is exactly like me.  Every time I look at her, it’s like I’m looking in the mirror at myself.  I can’t tell her anything because she is exactly the way I was – and probably worse. 

Just the other day, she was busted for throwing eggs at the door of an elderly woman. 

Then, when AJ tried to chastise her, she yelled and screamed bloody murder at him.

“Leave me the fuck alone!  You’re not my daddy!” 

“Go to your room,” I told her, “I’ll deal with you in the morning.”

Unfortunately, the morning never came. 

Soon after AJ finished screaming at her, he dropped to the floor. 

I couldn’t wake him up.  I was all in a panic.  Luckily Max dialed 911 for me.  I couldn’t even do it. 

I ended up spending the night at the hospital with him.  But that’s for another post.

I feel like I let her down, somehow.  You know?  I mean, so busy with AJ and Sage and the younger kids that Sierra got the short end of the stick.  That she didn’t get enough of me.

Once again, I feel like I failed as a parent. 

She’s so angry and I have no idea why.  What did we do wrong?

The other day I found out she skipped school to go to Simfest.  I also found out that she put lipstick and clown underwear on the school mascot and put toilet paper all over the principal’s office. 

We grounded her but she sneaks out of the house.  I know she’s sneaking out because Max would find her bedroom window open.  I know that someone in the house is helping her to sneak out but I don’t know how to get to the bottom of who is helping her to sneak out. 

I came back from work at two in the morning and who’s up working out but Sierra.  I asked her, you know, “What are you doing up?”

“Oh, just getting some extra reps.”

I don’t believe her for a second.  It’s a cover for her having been out all night.  What the hell is she doing? 

I know it’s a cover because I told the same lies to my mom. 

And you know I’m going to get to the bottom of it. 

Later, Savannah