The Hot Seat

What did Sage know and when did she know it?

That was the question we had to ask ourselves the next time we saw Sierra's therapist, Dr. Bill.  We were to see him to give a progress report.

The two of us waited in the lobby for Dr. Bill to come.  We didn't say anything to each other in those few tense moments.

Finally, he called Sage in.

"How are you, Sage?" he began.  "The last time I saw you, you were a teenage girl in pain.  Now you've turned into a fine young woman.  You've got a college degree, a boyfriend, a horse, a dog - a great life, so far, except for this crisis with your younger sister, which, by the way, you happen to have had a front row seat to, seeing her wrapped in the blanket outside of the movie theater.  How did you feel about seeing her in that state?"

 

I heard a deep sigh.  "Awful.  I just, just, covered my face to keep myself from crying."

"Now, Sage, you do realize that your sister's been officially diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, but that doesn't mean she can't live a full, rich, independent life.  It means she probably will need some assistance with that, and that's probably where you come in.  It means that in that life she's going to have certain difficulties, especially socially.  She's going to have difficulties determining boundaries sometimes, such as with the incident at the movie theater.  You do realize that, to a certain extent, your sister has no control over what she does, right?

"I - I think so."

"Now, I understand, your sister confided in you some things, some things she'd done.  Your mother mentioned something about a genie lamp?"

"When we were living in Moonlight Falls, she'd gone into the catacombs there and found a genie lamp.  She swore me to secrecy about that, told me not to tell anyone."

"Except your mother recently found that genie lamp, didn't she?"

"Yes, she did." 

"And you were forced to tell her."

"Yes, I was."

"Has Sierra told you any other things?"

 

A few minutes later Sage walked back out with Dr. Bill.  He and I both looked at her.  We both knew she was hiding something. 

"What else has she told you, Sage?" I asked. 

I heard Sage take a deep breath. That's when I KNEW she was hiding something.  Sierra had said something to her. 
So Dr. Bill and I spent the next twenty minutes trying to get it out of her. 

Sierra's First Stand

Sierra made good on her threat to report her professor, Rex Lovelace, for making unwanted advances towards her. 

In my last conversation with her on campus, I warned Sierra that this action against Lovelace would make her extremely unpopular.

I'll never forget her response as long as I live.  "You know what, Mom?" she said, her blue eyes not even blinking behind her black-framed glasses.  "I don't care."
Needless to say, it made me extremely happy and proud as a parent.

And her attitude since really has been of a 'don't care' one.

He tried again to intimidate her but she wouldn't budge.

She's also adopted this attitude in other aspects of her life, too.

She's still sleeping in public outside stadiums...

... and when people laugh she just stares them down. She doesn't feel the least bit of embarrassment. 

She spaces out whenever she feels like it and doesn't care who's watching...

Thanks to her diligence in working out she's in excellent physical shape.

Her nonchalance in some respects is admirable.  In fact, I'm told that right after she told me she was reporting Lovelace, she went to the comic book shop on campus and picked up a few more issues. 

This Old House

The old house in Sunset Valley is pretty quiet now.
Imsety and Satis, the two children I adopted from Egypt, are long gone, and my two oldest biological children, AJ and Sage, have moved out on their own, as well.  Skylar's in her 'terrible teens' and Sawyer just started school.

You raise children only to let them go.

I've got three kids at home now (plus the one still in my stomach). 

Skylar's so busy, I hardly see her anymore.  Every week, it seems like she's auditioning for something different.  She goes to Le Fromage, the performing arts school.  We're shuttling her between dance classes, singing lessons, and art courses.   I suppose it's a good thing that she's so busy, lest she end up like her older sister. 

Speaking of which, I overheard Andy and Sierra at my dad's breakfast table, talking.   I think it's starting to hit him that she, too, will be gone soon, probably after she finishes her university studies.  There's a small chance that her issues may prolong this eventuality, but it's likely going to happen, even if she has to move in with a temporary companion. So, he's made it a point to spend as much time with her as he can. 
"Sierra, I know you've been sneaking out to the catacombs at night."
"Who told you?"
"I didn't need anyone to tell me," Andy replied, laughing.  "I know when you disappear at night that's where you're going.  Your mother used to try and hide behind the headstones to avoid the curfew, and she always got caught."
"She did?"

"Oh yes.  Your mother was rebellious and feisty.  Just like you.  Did you know that your mother used to correct the teachers in class?"
"You knew Mom when she was my age?"
"Of course.  In fact, when we met, she'd been assigned as my biology lab partner."

I heard Sierra laugh... out loud. 

 

"Dad, something I have to tell you."  Sierra crunched her cheese sticks in her mouth.

"What is it?"

"Dad, I've decided to try out for the football team at school."

"That's great, honey," Andy said, "you always did like to throw outside."

Then his face turned serious.  "Football's a contact sport.  That means you're going to get hit, a lot.  You know it's a big decision to make, Sierra, not something to be taken lightly - but you also know that whatever decision you make, your mother and I will support you in it."

Had a nice little surprise after Sawyer's scouts ceremony.  He and Sierra started randomly chasing each other around the school grounds.  I think he finally got her to laugh! 

Sierra and the Prof

"Mom," my almost-18-year-old daughter said right after we'd ordered our meals from Barnstormer's, "my professor propositioned me."
"Who's your professor?" I asked her.
"Lovelace."
I didn't know Rex Lovelace all that well, but I knew he was a founding member of the Urele-Oresha-Cham fraternity.  He and I ran in different circles at the university.
"What did he say to you?"

"Well, it began pretty innocently, actually.  I asked about my grade in his class, and his first response was,

So I said, okay, do you have any extra credit assignments for me to complete?

His response was strange.  He crept closer to me and gave me this creepy smile, "you know, if you, ahem, come closer, I could give you all the A's you want..."

I hung my head down, disgusted and completely uncomfortable.  "You know, Sierra, I can make you more comfortable... somewhere private."
I ran far, far away from there, remembering I had to come and meet you here."

After hearing that, I wanted to take Lovelace and slap him into next week.  How dare he, the creep, do that?  Especially to my little girl?
It made me wonder how many more Sierras are out there.  How many more unsuspecting young women he's taken advantage of over the years. 
"What are you going to do about it?" I asked her.  "You know, you do have options.  You don't have to take this lying down."
"Oh, no, I won't," she assured me.  "I'm going to report this to Simlius himself.  He can't get away with this."

Verbal diarrhea

While not having time to process the last whopper out of my daughter's mouth, that she broke into old man Winterly's house going after his comic book and action figure collection, she drops another bombshell.

She wants to be a ghost hunter.

Like I was. 

I remember being a ghost hunter.  It took a lot out of me, physically, and was taxing mentally as well.  Not only did I have to chase them down, but it was a lonely job, requiring nocturnal hours.  But, it seems as though she is nocturnal, and she's not very social, either. 

I'm not sure where this is coming from.  Especially since, ever since she was a little girl, she's wanted to be a professional athlete, like her dad was. 

But I have a theory, and it's coming from Sage's forwarded email.

You see, one of Sierra's dorm mates died of a lightning strike.  She's been trying to figure out a way to resurrect him.  Obviously Sierra was deeply affected by his death, even though she never really knew the guy.  But mostly, I think she's just curious to see if she can do it. 

The other night she saw his ghost and was ecstatic.   She had the same reaction upon seeing the Reaper. I think there's a part of her that's genuinely intrigued by the work I did.  Maybe it's like her therapist says, she's just now tapping into her talents and exploring her options.  It's quite possible she doesn't even know how smart she is. 

It's also possible that she's giving me a load of verbal diarrhea, that she's talking just to hear herself talk.  Because let's face it, she's been all over the place with what she's saying. 

History Lesson

I had a talk with my daughters, and during that talk I gave them a bit of an assignment.  I wanted them to track down their father's heritage in Dragon Valley.

But here's what I've gathered so far:

One of my husband's ancestors worked for the O'Connell family as their personal cook.  From the pictures he actually bears a physical resemblance to my husband.

The O'Connells were the ruling family of Dragon Valley.  Seamus O'Connell's great-great-grandfather came in and tamed the dragons during a major dragon outbreak, so in exchange for the gratitude of the citizens, they were made rulers of the town.  The family consisted of Seamus, his wife Shauna, their daughter Morida (Morrie for short), and their twin boys Aiden and Brien.

Morrie, their older daughter, was feisty and spirited and refused to marry despite the entreaties of her parents.   Her story is really interesting.  Upon her parents' deaths Morrie came to the throne in Dragon Valley and brokered a peace between the O'Connells and the other powerful family, the Mithrilens, in the name of protecting the town from future dragon invasions.  One of Morrie's brothers even married a Mithrilen daughter.

Now how does Morrie O'Connell connect to my husband's ancestor?

Apparently Morrie and this ancestor were very good friends, despite the difference in social status and despite the fact that she was technically his boss.  Apparently they used to ride horses and go hunting together in the woods surrounding Dragon Valley.  There had been rumors in Dragon Valley that this ancestor and Morrie were involved in a romantic relationship, rumors that Morrie remaining unmarried didn't help.   Morrie died without an heir of her own blood, so one of her brother Aiden's children came to the throne after her death. 

The O'Connells as a noble family predate the Vanderburgs of Hidden Springs and the Ichtacas of Isla Paradiso. 

Progress Report

As most of you know, I've had a very difficult time dealing with my daughter's very real psychological issues.  And some of her confessions have just been startling.  I mean, she broke into Winterly's house for some comic books and action figures? 

Sierra was formally diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome the day before she was released from the hospital.  Asperger's is a milder form of autism characterized by difficulties in social interaction, lack of empathy, and strict adherence to routine. The diagnosis was the final answer of a puzzle that had mystified us for the last several years.  We came to realize that Sierra's odd behavior wasn't merely the result of teenage rebellion.  She started college and her behavior was stranger than ever.  

She's on three different mood regulating elixirs, that she has to take for the rest of her life.  These elixirs are to help her focus and concentrate and also modify her intense rages.  She's in counseling and has to meet with her once a week.

AJ had elixirs that he took too, but he's now down to one medication.  Sierra's issues, however, are much, much worse than his ever were. 

 Sierra and my older daughter, Sage, had a tiff in the hospital room before she was released.  Remember Sage is the one who found Sierra lying on the pavement in front of the movie theater on campus and she's been affected by Sierra's issues more than anybody.  Sage has been trying to get Sierra to accept the help she's been given to cope with her struggles.  

Despite Sage and Sierra's hospital-room quarrel, Sierra has been writing to Sage all about what's been happening on campus.  I'm just now getting to Sage's forwarded emails, and they have been especially intriguing to me.  

Sierra talks about winning the school chess tournament, 

 attempting to resurrect a Sim who died of a lightning strike (!), and 

being the only girl in her physical education classes. In fact, a couple of her male classmates have openly taken exception to her being there.  Say what?  What year is this, seriously? 

So Sierra has embarked on a scorched-earth campaign to prove that she belongs, as only Sierra could and would.

She's spent long hours in the gym.

She's gone jogging at night.

She's also putting in the work in the classroom, too.

A young man who threw with her (at the expense of a swollen left eye) was so impressed with her arm strength, he's asked her to try out for the football team. 

All this has come at a price, though.   She's getting allergy shots almost daily and her resistance is not where it needs to be.  She's getting frequent colds and infections, and Sage and I text her daily reminders to take her medication.

 

She talks about one rage incident so far on campus, when one of her dorm mates was watching something on TV when she wanted to use it.  "I wanted to use the dorm TV to work out, but someone was watching a show on it... so I flew off the handle.  I couldn't control it.  The rage had just built up inside of me and I let out a primal scream."  

 But what happened next let me know that she's at least attempting to use the new coping skills she learned at the hospital.   It made me feel much better about her chances going forward.  She went back up to her dorm room, took a gulp of elixir, and calmed herself down.  

The old Sierra would not only have flown off the handle, but taken it out on everyone else. 

 Even more encouraging is that she's starting to make friends, or at least socialize with people without trying to kill them.  Granted, Sierra's social skills are not where they should be for a girl of her age, but that's going to come with time.  (They could only improve, they're practically nonexistent.) It seems like she's around people who are helping that development, not hurting it. And even if they don't come to an age-appropriate level, at least she seems to be making an effort now.  

She's never going to be a social butterfly, because that's not who she is.

She's like me in that she's not the most social of Sims, she'd rather keep to herself.   Still, though, the signs I'm seeing are promising.  She still spaces out from time to time, but I learned in counseling that it's her way of dealing with stimulation and she needs that time to decompress.  

 

She still likes to sleep outside from time to time, too.   That's my husband's genes in her, I think.  He's the outdoorsy type.  All of my kids have gotten the outdoors gene from him.  It's just that doing so in public, in front of public places, just seems a bit odd.  So I've told her, if she still has the urge to sleep outdoors occasionally, she could do so in the woods or areas that are not so public, and it would be okay.  

I'm a perfectionist.  I want everything to be 'just right.' 

For my daughter to have these kinds of issues ate at every fiber of my being. It was like, my daughter is not supposed to have issues.  She's supposed to be perfect. The whole time I was wondering, what did I do to make Sierra like this?  And what could I do to fix her? 

It's taken me awhile to realize, well, she doesn't need fixing.  She's perfect the way she is, even with all of her quirks.  It was my approach to her that needed fixing. 

There are some things about my daughter that are just not going to change, because they're hard-wired in her as part of who she is.  

After all, as I've said many times here, we're more alike than we are different.  She's been through so much, I forget that she's still so very young, still a baby, practically.  She hasn't lived yet, really -- even though she claims to have been abducted by aliens, had a crisis that put her in the hospital, and has basically done enough stuff to make your head spin.  Her life is just beginning now, as are the lives of AJ and Sage and Skylar.  But through all this, even with all this, I think she's going to be okay.